Compassionate Connections : December 2015

सुरेख संवाद कसे पाहिजे - एक प्रयत्न

Surekh Samwaad - Kashe ani kuthe:

It was in the evening at around 5pm we all gathered and started our NVC session. It was for the first time that I was sharing NVC in Marathi. These bunch of youths were the NIGHT SCHOOL STUDENTS FROM MUMBAI. When we started with NVC, I actually asked them to share some experiences of their own life, where they found that they were not heard or when they thought, people don’t understand them or there is some friction or conflict. Many situations came in and what was really significant in all this, is that yes, we all have CONFLICTS in our lives and escaping from them is not at all the solution. And that’s we need to relook at situation, with a different lens and NVC (Non Violent Communications) is a way of looking at this differently.

The sharing also highlighted that we do feel hurt and we are torn at times, but we don’t have words to say. At times SILENCE is the best solution to stay calm and cool but how to communicate and let the other person know what I am going through is difficult. Also I am not sure if the other person will understand me or not? With people whom we know little this is still easy but with closed ones, it is very very difficult process.

In our sharing it also came, that we also have some needs of care, to be heard, to be considered and to be acknowledged but that never happens in our work places. The way we tried to understand needs and feelings of a human, with respect to our own body.

The 3-H THEORY (Head, Heart and Hand) explains it beautifully to a great extent. And we then looked at it. Only needs and feelings was exposed to the group since we were dealing with the basics of NVC.

Small Model to help the group understand the NVC and where your needs and feelings are staying in your body.

Then, we did a buddy sharing where each person took one situation of his life and asked some questions related to it.

1. What conflicts means to you?

2. What happens when you face a conflict?

3. How do you respond to a conflict?

They started sharing it, and listening. The team of 2 was such that one was A and the other was B. When A will share, B will listen without responding. Similarly, when B will share A will listen. Also then they will share what they heard and will reflect. The sharing also helped them connect to each other, in the more special way. It was suggested that they take a situation which is of 4-5 level from 1-to 10 assuming that 1 is the least bothering situation and 10 is the most serious and bothering situation in your life.

It was quite moving to see, these youth talking about experiences from their homes to their slums, from the city news to political issues that we are facing today. They had diverse experiences and each one had some feelings and needs, that came very upfront and what was that? We did and together, tried to work on it.

Gorakh sharing with Santosh during the session.

Then we tried by taking one common situation. Then we looked at the needs and feelings associated with it. Wel also did some observation but did not go into much since it was first session and it was not a good idea to go fast but rather to let this concept SINK IN THEM.

Post that we had some discussion on NEEDS vs STRATERGIES. And how in our lives, many times we just look at strategies as our needs and not the need as such. We did it through various examples from our daily lives, and looked at the various facets. Much more to take place in the subsequent sessions.

Looking forward to see some more enthusiastic crowd….!!

Gratitude and Peace.